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A cheap shot is a terrible thing to waste.
 
A woman is like a tea bag... you don't know how strong she is until you put her in hot water.
 
A woman never shot a man while he was doing dishes.
 
All the plants in my house are dead - I shot them last night. I was teasing them by watering them with ice cubes.
 
Answering Machine Recording: "You have reached the breast self-examination hot line. Please press one ...Now press the other one."
 
ARMY: Everything you do can get you shot, including nothing.
 
At rifle competitions, the best team always wins by a long shot.
 
Could God make a burrito so hot he couldn't eat it?
 
Dancing is like a shower: one wrong turn and you're in hot water.
 
Did you hear about the wife who shot her husband with a bow and arrow because she didn't want to wake the children.
 
Don't think of it as getting hot flashes. Think of it as your inner child playing with matches.
 
During sex, my girlfriend always wants to talk to me. Just the other night she called me from a hotel.
 
Every once in a while, I like to look up into the sky and smile for a satellite photo
 
Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.
 
Everyone thinks I'm psychotic...except for my friends deep inside the earth.
 
For Sale: 1 Man, 7 woman hot tub, call 555-2583
 
Gettin' married is like getting into a bath tub. After you get used to it, it ain't so hot.
 
Humans are like tea bags. They never realize their strength until they are put in hot water.
 
I always take life with a grain of salt, ...plus a slice of lemon, ...and a shot of tequila.
 
I ask people why they have deer heads on their walls. They always say because it's such a beautiful animal. There you go. I think my mother is attractive, but I only have photographs of her.
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