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A coward is a hero with a wife, kids, and a mortgage.
 
Adults are just kids who own money.
 
An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.
 
Asked about his views on euthanasia, Clinton replied, "Youth in Asia are just like kids everywhere else."
 
Be nice to your kids. They will choose your nursing home one day.
 
By the time I realized my parents were right, I had kids that didn't believe me.
 
Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the drive before it has stopped snowing.
 
Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your kids.
 
I am going to call my kids Ctrl, Alt and Delete. Then if they muck up i will just hit them all at once.
 
I didn't get a toy train like the other kids, I got a toy subway instead. You couldn't see anything but every now and then you'd hear this rumbling noise go by.
 
I didn't get a toy train like the other kids. I got a toy subway instead. You couldn't see anything, but every now and then you'd hear this rumbling noise go by.
 
I got kicked out of wood working for not wearing my safety goggles while sawing off another kids left arm.
 
I have good looking kids. Thank goodness my wife cheats on me.
 
I like kids, but I don't think I could eat a whole one.
 
I lost my mind! I think my kids took it.
 
I love little kids. I just can't always eat a whole one.
 
I love to give homemade gifts. Which one of my kids do you want?
 
If you came and you found a strange man teaching your kids to punch each other, or trying to sell them all kinds of products, you'd kick him right out of the house, but here you are; you come in and the TV is on, and you don't think twice about it.
 
If you wait to have kids until you can afford them, you probably never will.
 
Insanity is hereditary. You get it from your kids.
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