Search One-liners

99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

A lawyer is never entirely comfortable with a friendly divorce, anymore than a good mortician wants to finish his job and then have the patient sit up on the table.

Despite their other contributions to our society, lawyers can still be a great source of protein.

Father talking to his son: "Son, you should never lie. One lie begets another lie, then another lie, and before you know it, you're a lawyer."

Having your lawyer pay for lunch will be very expensive in the end.

I broke a mirror in my house, I'm supposed to get seven years of bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five.

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked and drycleaners depressed?

It was so cold today, my lawyer had his hands in his own pockets.

It's so cold here, the lawyers have there hands in their own pockets!

Lawyer (n): Larval stage of Politician.