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Found 280 one-liners matching life

	Life's a bitch, 'cause if it was a slut, it'd be easy.
	Life's a bitch, and then you reincarnate.
	Life's a bleach and then you dye.
	Life's a buffet ... so eat me!
	Life's like a bird, it's pretty cute until it shits on your head.
	Life... sexually transmitted disease, 100% fatal.
	Live life on life's terms.
	Love and Time: The only two things in all of life and all the world that cannot be bought, but spent.
	Make a man a fire, you keep him warm for a day. Set a man on fire, you keep him warm for the rest of his life.
	Marriage is low down, but you spend the rest of your life paying for it.
	May the dragon of life only roast your hot-dogs and never burn your buns.
	May your life be long and useful like a roll of toilet paper.
	Men are like fast food...they never look as good in real life as they do on TV.
	Midlife crisis is that moment you realize your children and your clothes are about the same age.
	Midlife has hit you when you stand naked in front of a mirror and can see your rear end without turning around.
	Midlife is when you go to the doctor and you realize you are now so old, you have to pay someone to look at you naked.
	Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.
	My choice early in life was either to be a piano-player in a whorehouse or a politician. And to tell the truth, there's hardly any difference.
	My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I've only been jogging once and feel ten years older already.
	My goal in life is to be the kind of person my dog thinks I am.

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