Search One-liners

Found 280 one-liners matching life

	My goal in life is to hurt you, severely, come here.
	My greatest fear in life is that no-one will remember me after I'm dead. - some dead guy
	My insurance salesman doesn't bother me anymore since I took out a $100,000 life insurance policy on him.
	My life has a superb cast ...I just can't figure out the plot.
	My life needs a rewind/erase button.
	My love life is such a disaster...last night the Red Cross showed up.
	Never entrust your life to a surgeon with more than three Band-Aids on his fingers.
	Never take life seriously; nobody gets out alive anyway.
	Nobody's a virgin...life screws us all.
	Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.
	Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants.
	On the journey of life, I choose the psycho path.
	On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the Escape key.
	On your way down the banister of life, may your ass collect tons of splinters.
	One of the quickest ways for a young man to fail in life is to work so hard the boss will think he's after his job.
	One only needs two tools in life: WD-40 to make things go, and duct tape to make them stop.
	One seventh of your life is spent on Monday.
	People our age can still enjoy an active, passionate sex life! Provided we get cable tv.
	Probably the toughest time in anyone's life is when you have to murder a loved one because they're the devil.
	Reality shows tell me what my life would be like if it were run by writers not smart enough to make movies.

You can add our page to your favourite social-networking website like Facebook, Twitter, MySpace, Digg, StumbleUpon,...