At 38 years, I finally got me the woman that said those six words I wanted all my life to hear: 'My dad owns a liquor store.'
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Babies don't need a vacation but I still see them at the beach. I'll go over to them and say, 'What are you doing here, you've never worked a day in your life!'. |
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Be tender to the young, compassionate to the aged, tolerant with the weak. For in your life you will be all of these. |
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Brigands demand your money or your life; women require both.
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Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life. |
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By the time you learn the rules of life, you're too old to play the game. |
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Celebrate life with ketchup! |
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Celebrity: someone who works all his life to be recognized, and then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized. |
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Childhood is that wonderful time of life when all you need do to lose weight is to take a bath. |
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Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up. |
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Choose a job you like and you will never have to work a day of your life. |
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Death is a part of life. It's just a lot less scary and painful than the rest of it. |
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Death is life's way of telling you you're fired. |
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Death is not a period but a comma in the story of life. |
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Do you ever wonder what life would be like if you'd had enough oxygen at birth? |
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Don't measure your life by how many breaths you take, measure it by how many times you get your breath taken away. |
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Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out alive. |
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Don't take life too seriously, you'll never get out alive. |
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Don't take life too seriously. No one gets out alive. |
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Enjoy life. There's plenty of time to be dead. |