Now 7397 one-liners online!

Search One-liners


Found 280 one-liners matching life
 
At 38 years, I finally got me the woman that said those six words I wanted all my life to hear: 'My dad owns a liquor store.'
 
Babies don't need a vacation but I still see them at the beach. I'll go over to them and say, 'What are you doing here, you've never worked a day in your life!'.
 
Be tender to the young, compassionate to the aged, tolerant with the weak. For in your life you will be all of these.
 
Brigands demand your money or your life; women require both.
 
Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
 
By the time you learn the rules of life, you're too old to play the game.
 
Celebrate life with ketchup!
 
Celebrity: someone who works all his life to be recognized, and then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.
 
Childhood is that wonderful time of life when all you need do to lose weight is to take a bath.
 
Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.
 
Choose a job you like and you will never have to work a day of your life.
 
Death is a part of life. It's just a lot less scary and painful than the rest of it.
 
Death is life's way of telling you you're fired.
 
Death is not a period but a comma in the story of life.
 
Do you ever wonder what life would be like if you'd had enough oxygen at birth?
 
Don't measure your life by how many breaths you take, measure it by how many times you get your breath taken away.
 
Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out alive.
 
Don't take life too seriously, you'll never get out alive.
 
Don't take life too seriously. No one gets out alive.
 
Enjoy life. There's plenty of time to be dead.