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Found 280 one-liners matching life
Ever wonder why we're here? Well, don't. For thousands of years, man has been trying to figure out the meaning of life, and I don't think you're going to be the one to get it, Mr. smartypants. |
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Every man should marry. After all, happiness isn't the only thing in life. |
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Everyone has a purpose in life. Perhaps yours is watching television. |
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Failure is not an option - it's a lifestyle. |
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Fear not that your life will end soon. Oops, wait.. you didn't hear that from me. |
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Find your aim in life, before you run out of ammunition. |
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Football combines the two worst things about American life. It is violence, punctuated by committee meetings. |
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For a list of all the ways technology has failed to improve the quality of life, please press 3. |
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For some reason, we see divorce as a signal of failure, despite the fact that each of us has a right, and an obligation, to rectify any other mistake we make in life. |
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Friends are chocolate chips in the cookie of life! |
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Go on. Add some variety to your sex life... Use the other hand! |
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Hallmark Card: "Happy Birthday! You look great for your age....Almost Lifelike!" |
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Hallmark Card: "Thanks for being part of my life!! I never knew what evil was before this!!" |
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Ham and Eggs: A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig. |
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Humor is to life what shock absorbers are to an automobile. |
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I always take life with a grain of salt, ...plus a slice of lemon, ...and a shot of tequila. |
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I am becoming increasingly worried that there isn't enough anxiety in my life. |
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I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 96% how I react to it. |
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I don't understand people who say life is a mystery, because what is it they want to know? |
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I don't want to get to the end of my life and find that I lived just the length of it. I want to have lived the width of it as well. |
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