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Found 114 one-liners matching money
I have enough money to last me the rest of my life,...unless I buy something. |
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I have spent most of my money on women and beer. The rest I just wasted...
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I hope that after I die, people will say of me: "That guy sure owed me a lot of money." |
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I love to go to Washington - if only to be near my money. |
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I married for money and I earned every dime of it. |
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I spent all my money on a FAX machine. Now I can only FAX collect. |
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I tried to get a job at Office Depot. I didn't need the money. I just wanted to steal from a company that would never run out of office supplies.
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I used to have a drug problem, but now I have more money. |
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I went to the bank and asked to borrow a cup of money. They said, "What for?" I said, "I'm going to buy some sugar." |
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I've learned that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades, and there had better be a lot of money to take its place. |
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I've spent a lot of money on booze, babes and cars the rest, I just squandered. |
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I've taken a vow of poverty. To annoy me send money. |
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If all the nations in the world are in debt, where did all the money go? |
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If money can't buy happiness, I guess I'll just have to rent it. |
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If money could talk, it would say goodbye. |
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If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches? |
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If money won't make you happy, you won't like poverty either. |
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If time is money, then how come someone like me that has all the time in the world is still piss poor? |
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If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.
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If you can count your money, you're not rich. |
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