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Found 46 one-liners matching mother
 
A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.
 
A grizzley bear can tear through trees like a Jewish mother through self-esteem.
 
Adam and Eve had an ideal marriage. He didn't have to hear about all the men she could have married, and she didn't have to hear about the way his mother cooked.
 
All mothers are working mothers.
 
Behind every succesful man stands a surprised mother-in-law.
 
Behind every successful man stands a proud wife and a surprised mother-in-law.
 
Clinton's mother prayed fervently that Bill would grow up and be president. So far, half of her prayer has been answered.
 
College is that bright interlude of freedom a young man has between subjection to his mother and submission to his wife.
 
Every girl should use what mother nature gives her before father time takes it away.
 
Getting caught is the mother of invention.
 
Happiness is seeing your mother-in-law... on a milk carton.
 
Honolulu - it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife's mother.
 
I ask people why they have deer heads on their walls. They always say because it's such a beautiful animal. There you go. I think my mother is attractive, but I only have photographs of her.
 
I can remember the first time I had to go to sleep. Mom said, "Steven, time to go to sleep. I said, "But I don't know how." She said, "It's really easy. Just go down to the end of tired and hang a left." So I went down to the end of tired, and just out of curiosity I hung a right. My mother was there, and she said, "I thought I told you to go to sleep!"
 
I descended from a very long line that my mother foolishly listened to.
 
I filled out an application that said, "In Case Of Emergency Notify". I wrote "Doctor"... What's my mother going to do?
 
I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbour said 'Are you going to help?' I said 'No, six should be enough.'
 
I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?
 
I was so ugly when I was born, the doctor slapped my mother.
 
I was such an ugly baby. My mother never breast fed me. She told me that she only liked me as a friend.

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