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Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math. |
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Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at statistics. |
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Love is an evil trick that nature plays on people to get them to breed. |
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Many people lose their tempers merely from seeing you keep yours. |
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Many people quit looking for work when they find a job. |
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Many people, when they run into a telephone pole, blame the pole. |
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Marriage is nature's way of stopping people from fighting with strangers. |
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Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them.
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Materialism: buying things we don't need with money we don't have to impress people that don't matter. |
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More people should be bisexual. After all, it doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night. |
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Morning people: "Early to bed and early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise." Night people: "Anybody who goes to bed the same day they got up is a quitter." |
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Most of us can keep a secret. It's the people we tell it to who can't. |
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Most people aren't as deep as my toilet bowl. |
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Most people don't act stupid - it's the real thing. |
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Most people don't realize that large pieces of coral, which have been painted brown and attached to the skull by common wood screws, can make a child look like a deer. |
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Most people get AIDS from sex; but President Clinton gets sex from aides. |
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Most people want to serve God -- but only in an advisory capacity. |
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Most people who are as attractive, witty and intelligent as I am are usually conceited. |
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Most people with low self-esteem have earned it |
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Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit. |
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