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	My brother is so stupid, he took Viagra so he could join Up With People.
	My father said there are two kinds of people in the world: givers and takers. The takers may eat better, but the givers sleep better.
	My neighbor was bit by a stray rabid dog. I went to see how he was and found him writing frantically. I told him rabies could be cured and he didn't have to worry about a will. He said, "Will!? What will? I'm making a list of the people I wanna bite."
	Never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing to lose.
	Never tell the truth to people who are not worthy of it.
	Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.
	No relationship is all sunshine, but two people can share one umbrella if they huddle close.
	No small part of the social disasters that have made the words 'unintended consequences' so widely known comes from people who have had the illusion of knowledge.
	Normal people make good pets.
	Normal people worry me.
	Not many people realize just how well known I am.
	Of all the people I know, you're one of them.
	Of all the people in the world, you're one of em'.
	On electric toasters, why do they engrave the message 'one slice'? How many pieces of bread do they think people are really gonna try to stuff in that slot?
	One good thing about Alzheimer's is you meet new people every day.
	One nice thing about egotists: They don't talk about other people.
	Other people's tools work only in other people's gardens.
	People always ask me, "Where were you when Kennedy was shot?" Well, I don't have an alibi.
	People are living longer nowadays because when the "Angel of Death" calls, he generally gets an answering machine.
	People can be divided into three groups: Those who make things happen, those who watch things happen, and those who wonder what happened.

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