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When the people come, don't call where they're taking you the land of the magic white jackets. It makes them drive faster. |
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When there's nothing on TV, most people will watch it anyway. |
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When you go into court, you are putting your fate into the hands of people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty. |
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Where would the world be without crazy people? |
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Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America? |
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Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with the hopes that something new to eat will have materialized? |
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Why do people in ship mutinies always ask for "better treatment"? I'd ask for a pinball machine, because with all that rocking back and forth you'd probably be able to get a lot of free games. |
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Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give their vacuum one more chance? |
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Why do people order a double cheeseburger, large fries, and a diet soda? |
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Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?
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Why do people who know the least know it the loudest? |
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Why do people with closed minds always open their mouths? |
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Why do the Dutch people have two names for their country, Holland and the Netherlands, and neither one includes the word Dutch? |
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Why don't people on TV ever go to the bathroom? |
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Why is in that in America they make the sick walk all the way to the back of the drugstore to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front. |
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Why is it that most nudists are people you don't want to see naked? |
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Why is Wednesday called "Hump Day" when most people get laid on the weekends? |
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Winter is the season in which people try to keep the house as warm as it was in the summer, when they complained about the heat. |
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Wise people think all they say, fools say all they think. |
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Work is for people who don't know how to fish. |
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