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	I'm one of those bad things that happen to good people.
	I'm so broke, I go to KFC and lick other peoples fingers.
	I'm so ugly. I worked in a pet shop, and people kept asking how big I'd get.
	I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just assholes.
	I've learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon and all the less important ones just never go away.
	If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea... does that mean that one enjoys it?
	If 50 million people say a foolish thing, it's still a foolish thing.
	If absence makes the heart grow fonder, some people must really love church.
	If aliens are smart enough to travel through space, why do they keep abducting the dumbest people on Earth?
	If all the misfortunes were laid in one common heap whence everyone must take an equal portion, most people would be contented to take their own and depart.
	If blind people wear sunglasses, why don't deaf people wear earmuffs?
	If genius is one percent inspiration and 99 percent perspiration, I wind up sharing elevators with a lot of bright people.
	If God dropped acid, would he see people?
	If guns kill people, do spoons make people fat?
	If ignorance is bliss, why aren't more people happy?
	If Jesus had grown up to be an agent, instead of walking on water would he have walked on people?
	If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?
	If people from Poland are called "Poles," why aren't people from Holland called "Holes?
	If people listened to themselves more often, they would talk less.
	If the United States starts using the metric system will blind people have to use Litre dogs ?

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