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Found 25 one-liners matching police
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A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.
 
A man has reached middle age when he is cautioned to slow down by his doctor instead of by the police.
 
A report said that Osama Bin Laden is hiding where no one else ever goes. Police are searching all movie theaters that are showing the newest Pauly Shore movie.
 
Crime has already been organised. Now it's up to the police.
 
Did you hear about the blonde that tried to steal a police car? She saw "911" on the back and thought it was a Porsche.
 
Don't steal a police car unless you're prepared to floor it all the way to Mexico.
 
Heaven is where the police are British, the mechanics German, the cooks are French, the lovers Italian, and all is organize by the Swiss.
Hell is where the police are German, the mechanics are French, the cooks are British, the lovers are Swiss, and it's all organized by the Italians!
 
I beat up a white guy - got charged with GBH. I beat up a black guy - got charged with impersonating a police officer!
 
I guess more bad things have been done in the name of progress than any other. I myself have been guilty of this. When I was a teenager, I stole a car and drove it out into the desert and set it on fire. When the police showed up, I just shrugged and said, "Hey, progress." Boy, did I have a lot to learn.
 
I had no electricity in my house - no lights, I couldn't see what I was doing. Good thing my camera had a flash. To make a sandwich, I had to take 60 pictures of my kitchen. My neighbors called the police -- they thought there was lightning in my house.
 
I listen to the police band on my CB radio. Once I dialed 911 and dedicated a crime to my girlfriend.
 
I've never had a problem with drugs; I've had problems with the police.
 
If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
 
If we take matrimony at it's lowest, we regard it as a sort of friendship recognised by the police.
 
Last night a hole was blown in the wall of Police Headquarters. Police are looking into it.
 
Never insult a police officer while they're doing a body cavity search.
 
Once when I was lost, I saw a policeman, and asked him to help me find my parents. I said to him, "Do you think we'll ever find them? He said, "I don't know kid. There are so many places they can hide."
 
One day, when I came home from work, I accidentally put my car key in the door of my apartment building. I turned it, and the whole building started up. So I drove it around. A policeman stopped me for going too fast. He said, "Where do you live?" I said, "Right here!" Then I drove my building onto the middle of a highway, and I ran outside, and told all of the cars to get the hell out of my driveway.
 
One of my fondest memories of my grandfather was the day I went to his house and that tied-up man came hopping out of the closet yelling that he was my real grandfather and that the other guy was an impostor and that I should run away and call the police. Who was that guy anyway? Oh well, I never did see him again.
 
Police Station toilet stolen: cops have nothing to go on.
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