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Found 20 one-liners matching shit
 
 
A man went to a zoo. The only animal was a dog. It was a shit-zu.
 
I don't give a shit, but if I did, you'd be the first person I'd give it to.
 
I feel like I've been shot at and missed and shit at and hit !
 
I've been accused of vulgarity. I say that's bullshit.
 
If you have a shitty job, you probably shouldn't lick your fingers at lunch time.
 
If you're looking for sympathy, you'll find it in the dictionary between "shit" and "syphilis"
 
Life is a shit sandwich and on bad days you get no bread.
 
Life's like a bird, it's pretty cute until it shits on your head.
 
Men are like a fine wine. They start out as grapes, and it's up to women to stomp the shit out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with.
 
My Chinese girlfriend said "You shit in bed"... so I did.
 
Religion easily--easily-- has the best bullshit story of all time. Think about it. Religion has convinced people that there's an invisible man. . .living in the sky. Who watches everything you do every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a list of ten specific things he doesn't want you to do. And if you do any of these things, he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever, and suffer, and burn, and scream, until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you. He loves you and he needs money.
 
That shirt of yours is so ugly, I wouldn't wear it to a "Shit Throw".
 
There are things I like, and there are things I shit on.
 
There are two sides to every divorce: Yours and shithead's.
 
Welcome To Shit Creek ~ Sorry, We're Out of Paddles!
 
What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale? A northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time..." A southern fairytale begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit..."
 
Wipe your mouth. There's still a tiny bit of bullshit around your lips.
 
Wish in one hand and shit in the other and see which one gets full first.
 
You know, they got a luggage store in the airport? A place to buy a piece of luggage? How late do you have to be for a flight where you're like, 'Fuck it - just grab a pile of shit. We'll get a bag at the airport'.
 
You look like shit. Is that in style now?
 
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