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Found 283 one-liners matching think

	Sometimes I think that the only way you can get stupider is to get bigger.
	Sometimes I think that this world is another planet's Hell.
	Sometimes I think war is God's way of teaching us geography.
	Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel shamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, "It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver.
	Sometimes, when I drive across the desert in the middle of the night, with no other cars around, I start imagining: What if there were no civilization out there? No cities, no factories, no people? And then I think: No people or factories? Then who made this car? And this highway? And I get so confused I have to stick my head out the window into the driving rain - unless there's lightning, because I could get struck on the head by a bolt.
	Subtlety is the art of saying what you think and getting out of the way before it is understood.
	The "think positive" leader tends to listen to his subordinate's premonitions only during the postmortems.
	The average person thinks he isn't.
	The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
	The balls are the posse of the penis. While the penis is inside you, making you happy, the balls are outside working security. It's a velvet rope situation. No one can get in now. Finger, not tonight. There's another club around the block, it's a little dirty, but I think you can squeeze in.
	The dumber people think you are, the more surprised they'll be when you kill them.
	The first sign of a nervous breakdown is when you start thinking your work is terribly important.
	The memories of my family outings are still a source of strength to me. I remember we'd all pile into the car - I forget what kind it was - and drive and drive. I'm not sure where we'd go, but I think there were some trees there. The smell of something was strong in the air as we played whatever sport we played. I remember a bigger, older guy we called "Dad." We'd eat some stuff, or not, and then I think we went home. I guess some things never leave you.
	The mistake a lot of politicians make is in forgetting they've been appointed and thinking they've been anointed.
	The nice thing about being a celebrity is that when you bore people, they think it's their fault.
	The optimist thinks this is the best of all possible worlds. The pessimist fears it is true.
	The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.
	The woman who thinks no man is good enough for her may be right.... But she is more often left.
	Theists think all gods but theirs are false. Atheists simply don't make an exception for the last one.
	There are some days I practice positive thinking. And other days I'm not positive, I am thinking.

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