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Found 283 one-liners matching think
I am not the boss of my house. I don't know how I lost it. I don't knowwhen I lost it. I don't think I ever had it. But I've seen the boss's job,and I don't want it. |
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I ask people why they have deer heads on their walls. They always say because it's such a beautiful animal. There you go. I think my mother is attractive, but I only have photographs of her. |
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I broke a mirror in my house, I'm supposed to get seven years of bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five. |
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I can't think right now...I'm working |
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I don't think, therefore I am not. |
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I don't think, therefore I'm probably not. |
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I know you know what I think I said, but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant. |
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I like feminists - I think they're cute.
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I like kids, but I don't think I could eat a whole one. |
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I lost my mind! I think my kids took it. |
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I love Fear Factor, but I think they're running out of fears. It's only a matter of time before they're sitting around doing shots of Hepatitis C. |
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I masturbate! I do it like I think if I keep doing it, I'm gonna win something. |
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I never think of the future. It comes soon enough. |
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I personally think we developed language because of our deep inner need to complain.
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I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and I think, "Well, that's not going to happen." |
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I refuse to think of them as chin hairs... I think of them as stray eyebrows. |
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I think all humans suffer from an identity crisis at some point in their life... Makes me glad I'm a rabbit. |
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I think animal testing is a bad idea; they get all nervous, and give the wrong answers. |
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I think God's going to come down and pull civilization over for speeding. |
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I think I am getting to that awkward age. Too young for Medicare and too old for men to care. |
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