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There are two things on earth that are universal: hydrogen and stupidity.
 
Universal truth: At the end of every party there is always a girl crying.
 
Universal truth: Bricks are horrible to carry.
 
Universal truth: Despite constant warning, you have never met anybody who has had their arm broken by a swan.
 
Universal truth: Driving through a tunnel makes you feel excited.
 
Universal truth: Every bloke has at some stage while taking a pee flushed half way through and then raced against the flush.
 
Universal truth: Everyone always remembers the day a dog ran into your school.
 
Universal truth: Everyone had an uncle who tried to steal their nose.
 
Universal truth: Everyone who grew up in the 80's has entered the digits 55378008 into a calculator.
 
Universal truth: In every plate of chips there is a bad chip.
 
Universal truth: Its impossible to describe the smell of a wet cat.
 
Universal truth: Its impossible to look cool whilst picking up a Frisbee.
 
Universal truth: No one knows the origins of their metal coat hangers.
 
Universal truth: Nobody ever dares make cup-a-soup in a bowl.
 
Universal truth: Old ladies can eat more than you think.
 
Universal truth: Old women with mobile phones look wrong!
 
Universal truth: One of the most awkward things that can happen in a pub is when your pint-to-toilet cycle gets synchronised with a complete stranger.
 
Universal truth: People who don't drive slam car doors too hard
 
Universal truth: Prodding a fire with a stick makes you feel manly.
 
Universal truth: Reading when you're drunk is horrible.
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