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Found 112 one-liners matching women

	Statistics show that at the age of seventy, there are five women to every man. Isn't that an ironic time for a guy to get those odds?
	The American Heart and Lung Association surveyed doctors and found that 9 out of 10 doctors who tried Camels went back to women.
	The internet... Where women are men and 12 year old boys are FBI agents.
	The newest vitamin is made from chicken soup. It makes men cocky and women lay better.
	The real reason women live longer than men because they don't have to live with women.
	The reason men lie is because women ask so many questions.
	The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing... and then marry him.
	There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL.
	There are more men than women in mental hospitals... which just goes to show who's driving whom crazy.
	There are three billion women who don't look like super models and ONLY eight who do.
	There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.
	This is a little prayer dedicated to the separation of church and state. I guess if they are going to force those kids to pray in schools they might as well have a nice prayer like this: "Our Father who art in heaven, and to the republic for which it stands, thy kingdom come, one nation indivisible as in heaven, give us this day as we forgive those who so proudly we hail. Crown thy good into temptation but deliver us from the twilight's last gleaming. Amen and Awomen."
	Today, the L.A. Times accused Arnold Schwarzenegger of groping six women. I'm telling you, this guy is presidential material.
	Universal truth: Old women with mobile phones look wrong!
	Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.
	When women go wrong, men go right after them.
	Why are women wearing perfumes that smell like flowers? Men don't like flowers. I've been wearing a great new scent. It's called New Car Interior.
	Why do ballerinas stand on their toes? Can't they just get taller women?
	Why do men break wind more than women? Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure.
	Why do men forget everything and women remember everything?

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