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I worked in a health food store once. A guy came in and asked me, "If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?"
 
I worked in a health food store, but got fired for eating cotton candy and drinking straight Bosco on the job.
 
I would like to find the person who invented sex and see what he's working on now.
 
I'd tell you to go to Hell, but I work there and I don't want to have to see you everyday
 
I'm just working here till a good fast-food job opens up.
 
I'm so ugly. I worked in a pet shop, and people kept asking how big I'd get.
 
I've got it made. I've got a wife and a TV set -- and they're both working.
 
Ideas are funny little things. They won't work unless you do.
 
Ideas are great provided they don't degenerate into work.
 
Ideas won't work unless You do.
 
If A is a success in life, then A equals X plus Y plus Z. Work is X; Y is play; and Z is keeping your mouth shut. (Albert Einstein)
 
If a man smiles all the time, he's probably selling something that doesn't work.
 
If all those psychics know the winning lottery numbers, why are they still working?
 
If an infinite number of rednecks riding in an infinite number of pickup trucks fire an infinite number of shotgun rounds at an infinite number of highway signs, they will eventually produce all the world's great literary works in Braille.
 
If homosexuality is a disease, can I call into work 'gay'?
 
If I worked as much as others, I would do as little as they.
 
If it doesn't work, expand it.
 
If it's stupid but works, it isn't stupid.
 
If men are so competent, how come you always see signs reading DANGER - MEN WORKING ?
 
If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it?
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