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Found 225 one-liners matching work
Marriage certificate is just another word for a work permit. |
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Middle age is when work is a lot less fun--and fun is a lot more work. |
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Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit. |
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Murphy's Law isn't recursive. Washing your car to make it rain doesn't work. |
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My Dad was a workaholic. Everytime someone mentioned work, he got drunk. |
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My father taught me to work; he did not teach me to love it.
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My formula for success is rise early, work late, and strike oil. |
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My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance. |
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My mind works like lightning. One brilliant flash and it is gone. |
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My parents put us to sleep by tossing us in the air. Of course, you have to have low ceilings for this method to work. |
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My parents worked hard to give us everything money could not buy. |
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My theory on housework is, if the item doesn't multiply, smell, catch on fire or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one cares. Why should you? |
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My wife says I should get up and go to work, but the voices in my head say I should stay home and clean my guns.
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My worst day of vacation has always been better than my best day at work. |
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NASA has just completed work on a new rocket, nicknamed "Civil Servant." It won't work and they can't fire it. |
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Never put off the work until tomorrow what you can put off today!
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No sense being pessimistic, it probably wouldn't work anyway. |
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Oh crap!! That actually worked! |
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On a beautiful day like this it's hard to believe anyone can be unhappy.. but we'll work on it. |
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One day as I came home early from work, I saw a guy jogging naked. I said to the guy, "Hey buddy, why are you doing that?" He said, "Because you came home early." |
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