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TOP 100 funniest one-liners on the internet!
| 41 | Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet? |
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| 42 | The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room. |
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| 43 | God must love stupid people. He made SO many. |
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| 44 | A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. |
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| 45 | Good girls are bad girls that never get caught. |
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| 46 | The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas! |
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| 47 | Crowded elevators smell different to midgets. |
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| 48 | The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. |
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| 49 | Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity. |
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| 50 | Laugh at your problems, everybody else does. |
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| 51 | Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman. |
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| 52 | Never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing to lose. |
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| 53 | Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America? |
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| 54 | The sole purpose of a child's middle name, is so he can tell when he's really in trouble. |
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| 55 | You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice. |
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| 56 | He who smiles in a crisis has found someone to blame. |
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| 57 | It's not the fall that kills you; it's the sudden stop at the end. |
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| 58 | Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back. |
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| 59 | Some people say "If you can't beat them, join them". I say "If you can't beat them, beat them", because they will be expecting you to join them, so you will have the element of surprise. |
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| 60 | My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right. |
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TOP 100 runners-up
One-liners that did not make it to the TOP 100!
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