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TOP 100 funniest one-liners on the internet!
| 61 | We have enough gun control. What we need is idiot control. |
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| 62 | My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right. |
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| 63 | Hospitality: making your guests feel like they're at home, even if you wish they were. |
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| 64 | Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with. |
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| 65 | I discovered I scream the same way whether I'm about to be devoured by a great white shark or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot. |
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| 66 | When in doubt, mumble. |
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| 67 | I intend to live forever. So far, so good. |
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| 68 | Women may not hit harder, but they hit lower. |
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| 69 | Worrying works! 90% of the things I worry about never happen. |
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| 70 | A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" Father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying." |
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| 71 | Just remember...if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off. |
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| 72 | My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too. |
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| 73 | Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go. |
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| 74 | I like work. It fascinates me. I sit and look at it for hours. |
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| 75 | I don't trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die. |
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| 76 | I always take life with a grain of salt, ...plus a slice of lemon, ...and a shot of tequila. |
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| 77 | Jesus loves you, but everyone else thinks you're an asshole. |
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| 78 | I should've known it wasn't going to work out between my ex-wife and me. After all, I'm a Libra and she's a bitch. |
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| 79 | There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away. |
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| 80 | I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure. |
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The TOP 100 funny one-liners will be recompiled 4 times a day. The next update will take place in 4 hours and 1 minute. You may experience some one-liners to shift up or down.
TOP 100 runners-up
One-liners that did not make it to the TOP 100!
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