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TOP 100 funniest one-liners on the internet!
| 81 | I always take life with a grain of salt, ...plus a slice of lemon, ...and a shot of tequila. |
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| 82 | I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure. |
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| 83 | There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away. |
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| 84 | With sufficient thrust, pigs fly just fine. |
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| 85 | When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water. |
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| 86 | Knowledge is power, and power corrupts. So study hard and be evil. |
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| 87 | You are such a good friend that if we were on a sinking ship together and there was only one life jacket... I'd miss you heaps and think of you often. |
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| 88 | To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target. |
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| 89 | If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you! |
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| 90 | Virginity is like a soapbubble, one prick and it is gone. |
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| 91 | A bargain is something you don't need at a price you can't resist. |
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| 92 | Hallmark Card: "I'm so miserable without you, it's almost like you're still here." |
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| 93 | If winning isn't everything why do they keep score? |
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| 94 | A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it. |
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| 95 | A TV can insult your intelligence, but nothing rubs it in like a computer. |
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| 96 | Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine. |
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| 97 | If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people have more than one child. |
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| 98 | Whoever coined the phrase "Quiet as a mouse" has never stepped on one. |
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| 99 | Some people hear voices.. Some see invisible people.. Others have no imagination whatsoever. |
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| 100 | Nostalgia isn't what it used to be. |
Runners-up funniest one-liners
Are you curious about the one-liners that did not make it to the TOP 100 funny one-liners? Find out by visiting the runners-up to the TOP 100 funny one-liners!
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TOP 100 runners-up
One-liners that did not make it to the TOP 100!
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